I lit the pirate beacons,
  And scrambled from the ledge;
The Last of the Mohicans
  Was crawling by the hedge.

I wriggled from my blazer
  And drew my Dan Dare gun,
I set the stun to laser
  And cocked it on the run.

I gave him such a head-butt
  He scrambled up a tree;
‘Bang, bang!’ I said, ‘Your dead!’ But
  Then mother called for tea.